Like An Onion
by h0use-m0use
Summary: Rush is forced to trust Colonel Young when a mission threatens his life. Pre-Slash if you squint but mostly a bonding experience. Post Jutice & Divided.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Stargate. This is a fan based story only.

**Warning:** Language.

**Episode Tags: **Justice, Space, Divided.**  
**

**Summary: **Rush is forced to trust Young when a mission threatens his life. This story attempts to build up their relationship from the canon available from the show. Pre-Slash if you squint.

**A/N:** My first SGU fanfiction, and of course it's Rush/Young seeing as they are my favorite characters. Their dynamic makes the show that much more intense and enjoyable, but like every fan out there I'm expressing what I feel is lacking between them in the show. This is not meant to be Slash, however I have no issues with the pairing since I support it myself. The title is a little odd, but get tot he end and you'll understand :]

* * *

**Like An Onion**

_Kssshhrrk _

"_Dr. Rush, come in."_

A pair of shaky fingers scrolled through the data on the ancient console. Its nails were uneven, and rimmed with dirt. But he'd showered yesterday after his returned to Destiny. She was old and just as filthy. Rush rubbed his hands against his stubbly face. They smelled like rusted metal.

His radio fizzed again. _"Johansen to Rush."_ The voice was frustrated and weary. Rush closed the connection and ditched the device on the floor. If she wanted to speak with him she could bloody well come down and do it in person. Rush smirked. He was hiding in plain sight and Destiny's only medic, he knew, would not confront him in his own control room. She'd already tried that.

Rush shifted against his beloved ancient technology, careful not to cast weight on his injured leg. It thrummed in time with his heart, one painful pulse after the other and the other. He cupped a hand around the back of his neck and sighed. He felt at his worst but there was work to be done.

It was without any surprise that Rush heard those distinct, demanding footsteps nearing his position minutes later. By now Rush could distinguish the mood of the man wearing those boots, given the daily nature of this occurrence. Rush wasn't in a fair state to butt heads, though he knew what their confrontation would be about. Didn't they bloody understand he had important work to do?

"Rush," barked Young.

Rush's defenses responded faster than FTL against the Colonel's abrasive, commanding voice. He looked briefly over his shoulder, purposefully looking uninterested and deep in thought.

"Not now, I'm busy."

"You're always busy."

The unruly Scott pressed some random buttons and jotted down gibberish in his crowded note pad in the hopes that his indifferent demeanor would drive the Colonel away as usual. He had to fight the urge to look at the man, because today he couldn't tell what kind of mood he was in. If he didn't know what Young was thinking he didn't have control and that as most unsettling.

"I know why you're here-"

"Then you'll also know that turning off your radio to avoid the Chief Medical Officer is not something I tolerate."

Rush scoffed. "Please, she's a medic."

"The best we have," interrupted Young. "Now get your ass to the infirmary, as ordered."

Through sheer will Rush found it in him to finally look Young in the eye, turning slowly to meet the man. His heart fluttered at the Colonel's proximity and he hobbled one step back, hoping it looked more like he was catching his balance rather than retracting in fear.

"I don't take orders from you or from anyone else on this ship!"

Young raised his voice to match. "You were never released from the infirmary; you have no business being here on your feet all day!" He drove his finger down emphatically with every word, just touching Rush's chest. Rush felt the Colonel's energy pulse through him, pure and dominating.

"Your concern is truly heartwarming, Colonel," spat Rush acerbically, then he stood to full height and stepped forward with less confidence than a dying zebra. "We both know your only concern is that I stay alive to keep this ship running."

Colonel Young recognized this as one of the rare moments that he had the upper hand with Rush. He saw the other man's face twitch, like a prey item glancing the horizon for danger. And though Rush had squared himself, he was straining not to touch Young. They were an inch apart, but the Colonel was the one calling the shots, he was comfortable here he was, Rush was struggling. Young recognized the look in the man's eyes as the same ones he'd beaten back on that dusty planet; pained, fearful, but brimming with determination. He stepped back and settled into a more relaxed posture, figuring he'd never be able to reason with the man otherwise. He had to give it to Rush, as a scientist he still had the guts and will of a soldier.

Young offered a weary sigh as apology. "Why do you gotta make everything so difficult? We're just trying to help you."

"Only because you need me!"

"Of course we need you. I need every one on this damn ship!"

"If I wasn't this useful to you I'd be expendable!"

"Damnit, Rush! Is that what you think?" Young couldn't help himself, he bounced right back into Rush's personal space. "Yes, I need you because you are the best I have on practically everything except military expertise. But that's not why you're still here!" Young paused but decided to stand his ground and watched in fascination as Rush struggled to keep his. "You're still here because as a human being you have the same rights as everyone on this ship, and I care about what happens to everyone under my command."

"That's not what it seemed when you left me to die on that planet!" Rush bellowed, wincing as his leg bore some of his fury.

Young blinked quickly, momentarily lost in emotion. They had agreed not to mention that incident again, but that would have been too convenient. Problems like this didn't just go away. Their predicament had been like an untreated wound covered by a band-aid, and instead of removing the old dressing they just kept piling them on top until the wound infected into a festering hell. Young had been kidding himself to think that Rush would accept his authority without question after what he'd done to him. The signs had been small at first, little irate glances in his direction and avoiding him in the mess hall. But now his mere presence caused Rush to retract like a snail in its shell.

Young recalled one particular incident during which Rush had been speaking with Eli when he'd walked in, but the passionate scientist hadn't noticed his presence for several minutes. Young had stood and watched, utterly bewildered with Rush's calm demeanor. Until then Young had never seen the man so agreeable. Then Young had cleared his throat and all likeable qualities drowned in hostility.

Now Rush was looking at him as if he expected a blow. His jaw trembled in that unsure manner and his eyes cast down and anywhere but the Colonel.

"Rush," said Young softly. "I regret what happened…"

"Bully for you."

"Listen to me," Young warned, and Rush pursed his shivering lips. Young had hoped that Rush wouldn't go DEFCON, but now there was nothing for it if there was to be any hope of salvaging this mess. The fact was that they lit each other's fires, and while Rush had made an effort to be more polite, Young hadn't changed his attitude at all. Taking a big breathe, he called on all his experience as a military diplomat, and prayed for patience as he spoke his next words.

"I'm sorry I left you on that planet. It was the wrong decision, the wrong call." He had felt so desperate and angry at the time, at the end of his rope and Rush had been the final push. Nothing had ever made Everett question his humanity like that day. He just couldn't admit that to Rush. Not yet.

"Look I don't expect us to be friends. Something tells me we've been through too much to go back now. But I'm not here for any other reason than to help you because I'm concerned for _you_." He tried for a smile. "Do you think I'd drag my ass all the way out here first thing in the morning to fight with you?"

Rush's Adam's apple bobbed loudly. It looked as if the stubborn man was finally giving in when he said, "I'm fine."

Young put his hands on his hips and nodded in mock agreement. "You are, really? I see…"

Suddenly, the Colonel grabbed Rush's notepad from his hand and held it above his head.

"What do you think you're doing?" Rush instinctively stepped forward and grabbed for it. His surprised cry of pain split through the air and he tumbled forward. Young caught him, but Rush was forcefully pushing away and to the console for safety.

"You're not," stated Young with finality. "Let TJ change your bandages, clean the wound again. Then we can go have some breakfast."

Young handed Rush the empty rifle that was acting as his crutch. The barrel was worn past its protective black coating from when Young used it during their first weeks aboard Destiny. Rush pulled it out of his hand and shot him a submissive glare.

Young watched the defeated doctor limp away with a small sense of triumph, then dreaded the moment he'd once again lose control.

"A loooot of work…"

* * *

"The Kino showed what looked like fruit trees in this direction," said Brody, pointing North-West from the gate.

Scott nodded. "Greer, you're with Brody. Riley and Eli you go with them. Volker you're with me, Rush, and TJ."

Greer nodded slowly and took lead of his team, keeping his rifle glued to his shoulder like he was expecting an ambush at anytime. TJ gathered a soil sample by the Stargate before they departed.

"Radio in if you find anything useful," called Scott. "We meet back here in exactly eight hours, no exceptions."

Dr. Rush walked briskly in line with the others, conveniently placed in the middle of the group; Young's orders no doubt. The paranoia of that man…

Rush had volunteered to help TJ examine possible medicinal plants that the Kino had detected. His knowledge of chemistry made him the obvious choice, and he stood by the greater good. But he wasn't looking forward to their little hike. The plants were in the middle of a vast, fuming swamp.

It took them two hours of bushwhacking and meandering to finally make it to the open grasslands. TJ took one step and her boot squelched with foul water. "I guess we're here," she groused.

Rush had hoped that his days of chugging Johnny Walker had sufficiently dulled his sense of smell, but it wasn't enough to put a dent in the odor rising in the distance.

"TJ, hold up," Scott ordered and made his way to the front of the group. "We need to take this slowly. One step at a time, we have no idea what's under out feet." He backtracked into the forest some ways and foraged a thick branch.

They looked like a real band of troopers now, each with their own crooked walking stick. The way they tested the ground before each step looked like they were poking for gold. The actual swamp was only a couple hundred meters away, but it took them almost another hour to reach it.

Dead trees sprouted and leaned, begging gravity to pull them to their final resting place. The smell now was truly awful and Rush wondered how many dead animals had contributed to these putrid, black waters. He barely contained a groan when he realized they would need to wade through it to get to the small islands hosting the plants. And who knew what was lurking in there.

He was about to voice his concerns but Volker spoke first. "What if there are alien crocodiles living here."

The group awkwardly between each other, but given their previous experiences, nothing was improbable at this point.

"The Kino indicated that those plants have unique medicinal properties. I mean, just look at them, they're the only green things here."

"But why?" asked Scott.

TJ shrugged. "Something in the soil maybe, the way the sediment has formed? The low water levels indicate that this place might be totally submerged at some time of this planet's year, which means the plants are semi-aquatic. I can only speculate, but what I do know is that we are running low on medicine and those could be out best chance."

"Alright. We'll go in teams of two. Rush and I will go first."

Rush stared at the opaque water apprehensively, but this was a necessary risk. Steeling himself for the cold, he didn't know whether to be thankful or disturbed that the water was warm. They trudged through, inching deeper until they were waste high. Each step was a struggle not to lose a boot to the thick mud at the bottom. When they arrived to the first island, Scott waved Volker and TJ over.

Rush had already unpacked his supplies and was collecting trial samples when TJ joined him. "The scanner indicated this is what we're looking for. Young leaves have a higher concentration of an antimicrobial compound I've never seen before."

"Neither have I," TJ admitted.

"Well it would explain how they manage to survive out here."

"We should harvest as many complete plants as we can carry."

"Right."

Rush was bagging his eighth specimen when Scott's radio came to life with Eli's voice.

"_Scott, come in."_

"Go ahead."

"_We found the trees close to the gate, full of fruit. Greer already tried one,"_ informed Eli in a disapproving manner. _"But he's alright so far."_

"_They taste like overly ripe grapes, Sir,"_ Greer interjected.

Scott shook his head but they all smiled despite themselves. Any food instead of that gruel powder was good food.

"_We're picking as many as we can carry, we should be back at the gate within the hour."_

"Copy that, we're just about done here too." TJ nodded at Scott in affirmation.

Dr. Rush pushed up from tired legs and walked towards a fresh patch of plants. There came a thump then a horrible cry of pain. Rush reeled back into the earth, pulling out his right leg from a section of ground that had caved.

TJ dropped her shovel, dashing to his side.

"What is it! What happened?" demanded Scott.

"Damnit!" cried Rush, clutching his limb with shaking hands.

"Let me see," TJ said, trying to pry the man's fingers away. They were covered in blood. Rush gave in and writhed back against the ground, pressing his palms against his eyes and willing himself not to scream.

"Oh my God…" exclaimed Volker.

TJ peeled back Rush's torn pant leg and revealed a deep gash along his entire shin. The skin was filleted open, and towards the top was an impressive chunk of wood deeply lodged.

"It must have sliced him open when he fell through the hole," TJ said reasoned she pressed gauze to the wound. Rush retracted and gasped.

"Greer this is Scott. Dr. Rush has been badly injured. We're heading back to the Gate, what's your ETA?"

"_We're almost there."_

"Dial Destiny when you get there, inform the Colonel."

"_Copy that."_

"_Lieutenant Scott, this is Young, what's your situation?"_

TJ made a seamless transfer with Scott as one of Dr. Rush's supports so that they wouldn't have to stop to communicate with the Colonel.

"Dr. Rush fell into a rabbit hole, Sir, sliced his leg up pretty good. He's lost a lot of blood. We're about ten minutes away."

"_Copy that. Park is prepping the infirmary. Aside from the obvious, how did the rest of your mission go?"_

"We located the plants," Scott reported proudly. "TJ says they're a promising candidate for antibiotic synthesis."

"No doubt Sergeant Greer has sent back the fruit they collected by now." The group looked at Rush, surprised. The man sounded about ready to feint, and he struggled to keep his voice steady. "There's still time to send a larger team back…get some more."

On the other side, Young smiled. Wounded and certainly in pain, the man was still thinking of everyone else on Destiny. _"Once you're through we'll do just that."_

* * *

A distressed yell greeted Young as he entered the infirmary. He had to pause at the scene of Rush throwing his head back against the table in agony as Scott and Park struggled to keep him steady for TJ.

There was dirty water pooled by their feet from their clothes, mingled with saline solution from TJ's attempts to rinse Rush's wound. Young knew by personal experience that it hurt like a bitch. The wound wasn't clean, but ripped open and uneven, and still very dirty. He turned clammy when he spotted the protruding piece of swamp soaked branch and realized just how serious Rush's condition was.

"TJ."

Tamara glanced at the Colonel, relief spilling from her face. He represented leadership and stability, even though he could offer little in the ways of help. She used the opportunity to give Rush a break. "Sir, his wound is very deep, and the dirt is lodged. Even if he wasn't moving I'm not sure I could get it all out."

"Well give him a sedative," suggested Young obviously.

TJ shook her head. "I've already tried that. He's still feeling it. I don't know why, I gave him enough to put him out."

Young nodded, finally understanding her distress. "I know you don't want to hurt him more, but there is no other option." He looked at Rush. His chest heaved and his wet hair pooled pathetically around his grimy face.

TJ brought her voice to a whisper. "Regardless, the wound's been soaked in that bacteria infested swamp debris for hours. It's not a question of if he'll get an infection, but when and how bad it'll be."

"So where do we go from here?"

"I do the best I can and leave it open. If I stitch it together, the bacteria will have ideal conditions to fester and he might lose the leg."

Young nodded, and dismissed everyone but TJ from the infirmary. He knew best that Rush wouldn't want anyone to see him like this. He went to Rush's side.

"How you holding up?"

"Leave it to you to ask that stupid a question," Rush retorted, cringing. "I know what's going on, you don't need to sugar coat it for my benefit."

Straight to business, as always.

"I wasn't trying to," Young lied. "You know how this has to go down." Young nodded at TJ to continue, and Rush looked agonized by the proposition.

TJ prodded the entry point to feel how the wood was lodged. Rush smacked a palm to his forehead. "Bloody hell!" If it hurt that much just to touch around the wound, Young did not look forward to the rest. He placed a light hand on Rush's shoulder, uncertain of how much the man would tolerate him.

"I don't think the bone's broken. And the grain goes against the way of entry, so It's safe to pull it out. Normally I'd cut in to get better access but…"

"Huh no," breathed Rush in a heavy brogue.

"Pull it out now," ordered Young.

"Wait, wait," Rush begged, pulling his injured leg away. "You can't just…yank it out!"

"Do it now, TJ."

"Are you out of yer' mind ya bas?"

Young firmed his hand when Rush tried to get up. TJ looked torn, holding her gloved hands up undecidedly. "One shot, it's over," he told Rush. "You know it can't stay in there and we don't have time to argue or find out why the sedative isn't working properly, infection starts to set in after a few hours."

Rush gave Young the most intense stare. His mouth was slightly parted as he panted, and his brows were peaked with worry and pain. "I know," he whimpered

Without breaking eye contact with Rush, he ordered TJ a third time. She grasped the wood with medical pliers and pulled. A long cry ripped from Rush's throat. Young struggled to hold down his shaking arms, the muscles hard from straining.

"Easy, Rush, easy," he soothed. TJ pressed gauze into the hole, struggling to keep the precious blood where it belonged.

Rush gasped and flung his head from side to side. "No more…I ca-I can't."

"Alright, take a break."

"Breathe," TJ directed.

"I'm sorry I tried to take over the ship," Rush blurted.

TJ caught the Colonel's eye but decided it was best to pretend she was deaf. She offered a vague explanation of, "He might be delirious with pain." She shrugged and busied herself with unimportant affairs. Still, she heard the one sided conversation down to the last shiver of breath.

"It almost cost you and Lieutenant Scott your lives," Rush went on, and Young couldn't bring himself to stop the man. He should say something, say it was alright. But it hadn't been alright since they got here, and since then both had committed acts that severed their trust completely. Hearing Rush admit his mistake was such a comfort, a triumph.

"If Camille hadn't of been there…" Rush closed his eyes and braced. "I don't think I would have stopped myself." He looked back at Young. "I'm sorry."

* * *

TJ's voice sounded over a private channel. _"Colonel, please report to the infirmary. You need to see this."_

Colonel Young tried to appear in control, walking leisurely into the infirmary with his hands in his pockets. But his fists were balled so tight that his very short nails were biting deeply into his palms. The only other soul in the infirmary was Rush, seating at an angle on a medical table, his face partially obscured by his gangly hair and poor light. His injured leg stretched out in front of him, red and shiny with fluids.

Young couldn't help the morbid thoughts of amputation from slipping into his mind. And if it came down to that, what his chances of survival would be. He felt afraid and realized with a shock so huge it threatened to overtake him, that he was genuinely concerned about Rush. For the man, not the brilliant scientists with the brains to get them home.

Rush spotted him out of the corner of his eye and promptly refused to grant him an audience. He simply shut his lids in his typically miffed way and went on looking like he had better things to do than sit there and get his life threatening wound cleaned. Young refrained from asking the scientist how he was holding up, afraid of the biting comment sure to follow. He'd be a sarcastic asshole too if he thought everyone's concerns was limited their selfishness to keep their best chance of returning home alive. But then, that's how he'd been treating Rush since the beginning.

Young rounded the bed deliberately and got his first good look at the open wound. The old bandages were still under Rush's calf, covered in dried blood and plasma. Angry red lines meandered like tiny streams away from the trauma. He sighed and rubbed his stubbly chin. Neither of them could admit to how bad it really was.

"Lieutenant Johansen's gone to fetch something from the lab," Rush informed, not meeting Young's gaze. He pointed to his leg. "She's letting it breathe. Rinsed is out before she left."

"You're in bad shape."

"Well I'm not doing well. It hurts," Rush admitted grimly. "Look, about yesterday…"

"I know."

"No, you don't. You think I regret not completing the systems transfer. That in saving your lives I surrendered the only opportunity I'll ever have to control Destiny."

"The thought had crossed my mind."

Rush nodded unsurprised. "Well you'd be wrong. Last I checked that's been known to happen." He finished with a smirk. "No, Colonel. Just like you, I regret the man I almost became. A murderer has no place aboard this ship. But if you must know…what I would have regretted most is killing _you_."

"Colonel." TJ walked briskly into the room, placing a pair of viles on the table. She looked like she hadn't slept since her return from the planet.

"Report, Lieutenant."

"Well, Sir, I expected an infection but not something like this." She snapped on a clean pair of gloves. "I ran a bacterial analysis on the water samples we brought back…it's full of highly virulent organisms. A blood test showed they've spread into Dr. Rush's bloodstream which may explain why the sedative had very little effect; they seem to have the ability to resist the venom, literally destroying any of the molecules they come across. I pumped him full of antibiotics but…"

Rush looked mildly ahead, like this was no big news. Young was sure he's figured it all out on his own, perhaps explaining his resistance to stay in the infirmary. Did he know he stood no chance?

However, Rush reacted strongly when TJ broke out the iodine soaked gauze. He stiffened and looked convinced that this was causing him unnecessary pain. He hissed when she began packing the wound.

"Easy, lass!" It looked like Rush had only just prevented himself from pushing the medic away, abstaining at the last moment and redirecting his agony by slamming the table. Tamara provided an apologetic eye, but she was already being her gentlest. Young was sure that his presence was forcing Rush to comply, but he could barely stand to watch the other man's suffering.

Hey both thanked the powers that be when TJ wrapped his leg thickly in fresh bandages.

"What's the next step?" Young asked.

TJ lifted the vials. "Volker and I got to work with the plants right away, hoping they'd produce a stronger antibiotic. We haven't had time to get rid of all impurities, or even to test, but this stuff's way stronger than anything we have." She looked at Rush. "I wouldn't be suggesting this if I had a better alternative."

"Alright," Rush agreed skeptically.

"What is it," asked Young, knowing his officer well enough to see a catch coming.

Tamara sighed and opened a supply box and pulled out some plastic packaged supplies. She showed one to Rush. "You're not serious," he whispered.

Young stepped forward. "What, what is it?"

"The antibiotic is very thick, especially so impure," said TJ slowly, still addressing Rush. "This is the only needle we have that can handle it."

"Yer out of yer mind if you think yer getting tha' thing anywhere near me!"

"I don't know what else to do," TJ argued. "Without this you'll probably get gangrene and lose the leg or worse, sepsis. Not to mention these bacteria are in your bloodstream so amputation wouldn't solve anything."

The Colonel rubbed the bridge of his nose and raised his voice. "Someone, please tell me what the problem is."

Tamara showed him. It was the biggest needle Young had ever seen. "This is normally used for biopsying tissue," she explained. "It's the only thing I've got that'll do the job, and we have no time for further purification. If Dr. Rush doesn't get proper treatment…"

"I feel fine," the stubborn Scot interjected.

"You have a fever of 103 and your blood pressure is falling below safe levels," TJ rebuked angrily. "Sir, I wouldn't normally recommend this, but under these circumstances…"

"Do it."

TJ nodded and tore open the supplies. Rush watched horrifically as she snapped the thick needle into the barrel. "You need my permission to perform any medical procedure," he sputtered.

"Normally that's true, but we don't have any other choice," said Young.

Young had the decency to look worried when TJ drained both vials into the barrel. She smirked a little at their faces and said, "The concentration is low, and he needs a very large dose." This was going to hurt and Rush couldn't disguise that he was aware of that fact. Young had seen seasoned officers faint from needles much smaller than this one.

TJ looked at her patient kindly. "I need you to lie down."

Rush wasn't sure why that was necessary but he complied with a little push from Young. He was momentarily scandalized when she untucked his shirt and pushed it up his stomach. But when the cold, orange iodine touched his skin he sat up in a flurry of panic.

"You're off your head!"

TJ had half a mind to believe him. She'd had a lot of firsts on Destiny, most of which would have normally been performed by a certified Medical Doctor, but regardless of her current doubts she had an obligation to try anything that might save her patient.

Young put a hand on Rush's shoulder to quiet him and stepped between him and Tamara, acting as a physical barrier. That had the desired effect of calming the doctor down so that he could speak. "Is it absolutely necessary to inject him there?"

"Yes, Sir. There are a lot of things to consider here. The needle is way too large and long to administer an intramuscular injection in a place like the shoulder. Then there's the rate of absorption; this antibiotic is so powerful it would be considered a last resort on Earth. If his body absorbs it too quickly he'll be in danger of cardiac arrest. On the other hand, the sooner it starts working the better. The stomach area is the best injection site for efficient absorption, but I'll administer is subcutaneously, which will slow down the process without robbing the antibiotic's potency."

Young massaged his forehead like it would ease the processing of information. He'd never been a technical man but he certainly trusted TJ and she hadn't failed him yet. He looked down at Rush who looked accusingly vulnerable; like they had a choice but were going with the most inhumane option.

"Do what you have to."

"Colonel!"

"Lie back down, Rush," Young ordered.

"No. I refuse to have any of it!"

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you."

For a moment Rush was back with the mutinous group of civilians struggling to maintain control of Destiny. He recalled the ice in his blood when Young entered the room and pointed his gun at him. Then Eli blabbed about the transmitter in his chest and before he could properly fight he was being sedated. Not again.

Rush made to stand but both TJ and Colonel Young frantically tried to keep him there.

"Get your hands off me!" Rush growled, prying their fingers off.

"Are you sure you can't sedate him!"

"I tried when he got here, the bacteria neutralizes it," panted TJ, struggling with Rush's left arm.

Young lost his grip when Rush surprised him with a burst of power. "No! No sedatives, no drugs, just leave me be!" Like a deranged animal, Rush flailed his arms in front of him and slipped off the table, hobbled back into a wall, barely able to keep himself upright.

The Colonel grabbed his radio. "Scott this is Young, organize a small military team and report to the infirmary."

"_Yes, Sir."_

TJ watched in fascination as the hard, callous man she knew to be Rush crumbled to reveal a man full of fear and resentment. It looked to her like post traumatic stress, a reaction perhaps to something similar the aliens had done to him, or a trauma suffered years ago. She barely knew the man, couldn't even get him to sit through a psyche evaluation. Ironically it was Young who had seemed to figure him out the best, so she let him lead, keeping still and quiet as the Colonel approached him.

Rush was leaning heavily on his side, holding his bad leg up like a lame horse. His face was drawn and tight but he was still present. Whatever emotional panic he was experiencing hadn't completely overridden his pragmatism.

Young raised his hands out in front of him, but that only seemed to frighten the man more. A fuzzy memory of a tall, blue alien doing the same overwhelmed Rush and he put a hand out to keep it away. His brow was shiny with sweat, like the wetness from the water tank Young had rescued him from.

"Okay, Rush…alright, take it easy."

"I know it's you," Rush whispered, his voice quivering and low. "I know it's you, Colonel Young. But I…I can't stop shaking."

"Post traumatic stress," TJ informed quietly, and left it at that.

Scott and his team arrived, ready for action, but Colonel Young brusquely ordered them to stay outside the door. That's all he'd wanted in the first place, in case Rush tried to run away on his bad leg. He never let his eyes leave the frightened man.

"What did they do to you, Rush?"

Rush shook his head, squeezing his eyes closed. If he remembered now it would be too real. He couldn't go through that again. "You need help, and I think you know it. But TJ can't treat you this way, and we need to know why you're reacting so strongly before we go any further." He took another step forward, but Rush recoiled violently.

"Alright…alright…just take it easy. I'm not gonna hurt you, you know that."

"Do I?" Rush spat maliciously, and Young's heart gave a painful lurch. "You left…you left me. With them. And I couldn't get out…I couldn't…they hurt me."

Now Young was shaking too, pained by the other's suffering. He had caused this. And he felt utterly useless, and so very guilty for abandoning him to die. He couldn't see Rush's face – it was obscured by his hair – but it sounded like he was crying, or trying not to.

Somehow Young found his voice, perhaps his military training on autopilot. Or maybe he cared about what he'd put Rush through. "How…did they hurt you?" But did he really want to know? Could he live with himself afterwards?

"Tests," Rush sobbed unexpectedly. "And then they…" He touched his chest and looked straight at Young. "I was so afraid you would leave me to die somewhere again if you knew. Taking over the ship was the only way I could guarantee my safety. I'm sorry."

For a brief moment, time stood still, and Colonel Young understood Rush's fear as if it was his own. The noise in the infirmary, the constant humming of the ship, was blotted out by the dread and desperation thrumming in the Colonel's ears. Rush was frightened of him. No matter how he had suffered by those aliens, he suffered more living under the rule of a man who could potentially put him through all that torture again.

All the contempt he held towards Rush for staging the mutiny popped out of existence. He wouldn't miss it. He understood. He had never given much thought before that Dr. Rush had a heart like any other, no matter how thick it was. He had used Rush's cold exterior to explain all the man's actions, ambitions and emotions, never once considering the real person lost somewhere in that body. That would have been too difficult.

"That's not what's happening, Rush. And it would never have happened."

"I couldn't trust you," Rush defended.

Young nodded. "I know. I understand that now." He got a little closer and was pleased when Rush didn't pull away. Both men still had their hands outstretched, and Young bravely touched his fingertips to Rush's. He felt Rush's barrier die with a light tingle that travelled up his body, like a failing forcefield.

And then Rush collapsed. TJ wanted to sprint into action, but held herself back as the Colonel caught him.

"Take it easy…easy. You're alright."

"D-damnit that hurts."

"I know. And we're going to do something about it." Rush shook his head but Young continued more forcefully. "You need medical attention. I know it's a tall order after everything we've been through but you're going to have to trust me." He squeezed Rush's shoulders. "I'll get you through this, I promise."

Rush wanted to obey. He was so tired of mistrusting every soul on Destiny. The ship had remained his only loyal companion these past months but he was crazing human companionship more and more, ever since he'd been abducted. Ironically, the one person he'd choose to get along with was Colonel Young. If they could transcend their galaxy-wide differences, he knew there would be very little along this vast universe that could stop them.

"How do I know you'll be true to your word?"

"Because I will. And because we can't keep doing this. I need you to be honest with me from the start, no evasion, no lies. If you can promise me that, then I can promise you safety. I made…a mistake, Rush. And now we are all paying for it. You especially."

Rush nodded, rubbing away the wetness on his face. Young felt a shuddering sigh pass through Rush's shoulders to his hands.

"If you ever – " warned Rush.

"I know…"

"I will never, ever again…"

"I know."

Then Rush broke out a contagious smile. "Then I guess you have yourself a deal."

Young's smirk grew into a full grin, the only one of its kind ever directed towards Rush. Then he snorted, like there was something amusing about sitting on the floor of an ancient infirmary together, flying through an unknown galaxy. Rush chuckle a little louder, and before anyone had time to wonder what strange alien pathogen they'd brought on board, they were laughing.

In between high pitched comments of _I have no idea what's so funny_ and _Lord help me_, they clung to each other for support, gripping their stomachs and begging for mercy. Eventually the hysterics died and they whipped their tears on the cuffs of their sleeves.

"I can honestly tell you that was the best laugh I've had since we came here," said Young.

"It's been quite a lot longer for me."

A pregnant silence befell them, and Young wasn't sure what Rush was remembering, but the man's pain was palpable. He barked with residual laughter at how near-sighted he'd been this whole time. He'd seen the Ring on Rush's finger, seen him toy with it when he thought no one was present. Whatever woman had loved him had obviously found out what this man was truly about, and that made Young eager to learn.

Eventually the Colonel said, "Let's get you up," and hauled the sweaty, exhausted doctor to his feet, bearing most of the man's weight across his shoulders.

"We talked about trust," Young prompted. "I'm afraid this situation requires that you trust me first. I would take the first step but –"

"I know it needs to be done. I just don't know what came over me. What the aliens did to me wasn't pleasant, but I shouldn't have let that overcome my logic. I'm better than that."

"Look, Rush, I don't care how smart you are, at the end of the day you're still human."

Rush nodded agreeably then spoke in a deflective, humorous tone. "Have I mentioned I don't very much like needles?"

"Who does?"

"Yes, but this one's quite a bit bigger than most."

"I will give you that." Young granted Rush a smile for comfort, though it was genuine. He walked Rush slowly back to TJ. "I mean, I'm not the medic here, but I know this won't be an easy thing to do. It looks like it'll hurt."

"I know," Rush whispered, looking defeated. His mouth twitched with dread and he unwittingly pulled his weight down, making it harder for Young to help him along. The Colonel let it go and helped the shaking man back onto the medical bed. Rush didn't let go of Young's sleeve.

"I'm right here," he encouraged.

TJ threw him a faint smile and Young looked away like this was no big deal. He'd made amends with Rush peacefully and without a single snarky comment. Piece of cake. She handed the Colonel fresh gloves saying, "Here, you can give me a hand."

Rush swallowed thickly as TJ lifted his shirt and applied fresh iodine to his stained skin. He turned his head to the side and pulled Young's arm, hiding behind it like a frightened child. But his curiosity won and he glanced down when TJ's hands left his skin. She was giving the needle a last sterilization, sliding an alcohol wipe along its length like a butcher wiping blood from his cleaver.

"Damnit…" Rush resented his need to be privy to every detail. Not knowing just wasn't an option, but he was only making it worse for himself.

"There's a lot to be injected, so if I encounter too much resistance at some point on this side I'll have to finish on the other," TJ explained. "You're going to feel pressure, then a burning sensation. I'll be getting quite close to your internal organs, so you need to keep still." She exchanged an understanding with Young that he was ready to restrain Rush if necessary.

TJ took a moment to compose. "Here we go. When I say so, take a deep breath and exhale slowly."

Rush's attempt to comply was a quivering mess, and out of the corner of his eye he saw her hovering just above him, ready to do it when he breathed out. "I cannae do it!" Rush blurted, shaking his head side to side.

"Rush," Young warned.

"I can't let her do it to me…"

Young leaned over him and tipped his chin his way. "You can, because it's going to save your life, and you will because I'm ordering you to. But I promise you…you will be safe." Young was praying that would be the case. Such a large dose might damage him, but he had to hope for the best. "Yes, it'll hurt…probably a lot, but whether or not you're ready to go through with this is no longer up to you. I'm responsible for everyone on this ship, especially you."

"Colonel…"

"You don't have a say in this, Rush. I know when you're feeling better you'll understand that. You have to trust me."

Rush nodded, blinking rapidly and offering a weak smile. "Take it slow, TJ," Young ordered. As Rush inhaled, they clasped hands until their knuckles turned white. Rush's slow release turned into a surprised yelp and he threw his head back. Young looked down to see the needle deep in his skin. TJ put a thumb to the plunger and gently pushed.

"Gah!" Rush squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced. His toes curled and his knees were slowly rising. Barely half the antibiotics were in. "It's burning," he panted, now beginning to squirm.

"Take it easy, Rush," Young soothed. "You're doing great."

"I think I can do this in one shot," said TJ. "That way we won't have to do this again."

"Just be done with it!" Rush pleaded. "Ahhh!"

"Almost there."

"Take it out!" Rush yelled. Young had to pin him down to keep him from twisting away. "Please, I can't do anymore, take it out!"

"Look at me, Rush," Young ordered. "Look at me…look at me. That's it, focus on me." Rush arched when TJ withdrew the needle. She pressed a cotton ball on the hole and had the Colonel kept pressure on it while she discarded the instrument.

"Hey…" Young nudged Rush's shoulder and smiled when the man looked at him with sleepy eyes. "You okay?"

"Just fockin' peachy," Rush slurred cheekily.

TJ quickly took Rush's blood pressure, sighing like the pump as she released the air. "Within limits. Drowsiness is completely normal for such a large dose. He should be fine, Sir."

* * *

"Rush!"

Nicholas cringed and glanced in the direction of the swaggering, angry footsteps. He tried to continue his calculation but found he was unable to concentrate. He ran a hand through his hair apprehensively as Colonel Young leaned against his console, looking unimpressed.

"I know what you're going to say," Rush started.

The Colonel chuckled, shaking his head. "You are_ the_ most stubborn human being I've ever had the challenge of commanding. I'd ask what the hell you're doing on your feet if I wasn't already sure of the answer."

"Someone's got to do this work." Rush felt himself cheated by Young's mild reaction. He'd expected a confrontation ending with orders, chain of command, blah blah blah.

"Let me guess. No one else can do it."

"You're catching on, Colonel."

Young sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "How long have you been here?"

There was a pregnant pause as Rush decided he would remain healthier if he didn't answer that question. Young rolled his head as he understood the man had been there all night, and that yelling would only make his throat sore.

"Rush…"

Rush raised his hands passively. "I know. I know."

"Your mind is still sharp but your body needs time to rest. I want you back in your quarters, lying down."

"I've got just a few more permutations to go over, and then I'll go. I promise."

"One hour, Rush. And then I'll drag you out myself."

Rush smiled genuinely and watched Young's lighthearted retreat. The Colonel threw him a last warning look over his shoulder. He hugged his radio against his chest, sure that he'd need it. And Rush would be waiting for the order, he was too proud to stop working without resistance. Young wasn't worried.

He ambled slowly down Destiny's corridors, nostalgically recalling a memory of his high school Martial Arts sensei explaining to the team that theirs was more than a sport. Consider it like an onion, he had said; there are many layers you must suffer through in order to gain better understanding. But if that's what it would take to get through to Rush, then he'd have to tediously peel away the tear-jerking layers one at a time until he reached the sweet center. Already he saw it happening.

Yup, just my usual fair of charzacter whumpage. I can't help it. Please R&R, I'd appreciate it.


End file.
